During the holidays we can always get a little cray cray. I was just thinking about how to me, this time of year is supposed to be easy-going, loving, centered around time standing still and spending time with family with no pressure to perform.
But instead, for most of us, it's quite the opposite.
I got to thinking, care is sacred - but not endless...
Then I was like, what does that even mean? 😂
Once I had some time to digest it, I really took it to heart.
For those who are bearing the weight of it all (like most of us women are; especially around the holidays), I hope you take time time and know we are here for you! If you can take one thing, we are on the right path to supporting you. ❤️
“Care is sacred”
This means:
• Your ability to care is valuable, not casual
• Nurturing, holding space, creating, supporting others — this is skilled labor, not background energy
• Your care has weight because it comes from presence, intuition, and lived experience
“sacred” = meaningful, intentional, deserving of respect.
“But not endless”
This is the part people often skip...
It means:
• Care has a capacity
• When it’s overextended, it loses quality
• When it’s given without limits, it becomes obligation instead of devotion
Practically, this looks like:
• Feeling responsible for everyone’s comfort
• Saying yes when your body is asking for no
• Carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours
• Confusing availability with love or service
• Feeling responsible for everyone’s comfort
• Saying yes when your body is asking for no
• Carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours
• Confusing availability with love or service
Endlessness turns care into depletion.
What it’s warning against...
Not:
• Being kind
• Supporting others
• Mothering, healing, teaching
But specifically:
• Unprotected giving
• Chronic emotional output without recovery
• Making yourself the container for everyone else’s needs
• Unprotected giving
• Chronic emotional output without recovery
• Making yourself the container for everyone else’s needs
What it’s guiding you toward instead...
Care that is:
• Rhythmic (given in cycles, not constantly)
• Chosen (offered willingly, not automatically)
• Reciprocal (supported by rest, privacy, and nourishment)
• Rhythmic (given in cycles, not constantly)
• Chosen (offered willingly, not automatically)
• Reciprocal (supported by rest, privacy, and nourishment)
In other words:
You don’t withdraw care — you regulate it.
You don’t withdraw care — you regulate it.
How this shows up day-to-day...
Examples:
• You can hold space and close the door
• You can nurture others after tending to your body
• You can create deeply supportive work *without* being available at all times
• You can hold space and close the door
• You can nurture others after tending to your body
• You can create deeply supportive work *without* being available at all times
The care stays powerful because it’s protected.
RITUALS OF SELF CARE
1. Boundaries That Don’t Feel Harsh(firm, warm, non-guilty)
The goal is containment, not withdrawal.
Internal boundaries (most important)
These are rules you keep with yourself:
❌ “If I can help, I should”
✅ “If I am resourced, I can help”
❌ “It’s easier if I just do it”
✅ “Ease matters, but sustainability matters more”
❌ “They need me”
✅ “They can be supported without me carrying it”
❌ “If I can help, I should”
✅ “If I am resourced, I can help”
❌ “It’s easier if I just do it”
✅ “Ease matters, but sustainability matters more”
❌ “They need me”
✅ “They can be supported without me carrying it”
Practice:
Before saying yes, ask:
Do I have the emotional + physical capacity for this without borrowing from tomorrow?
Before saying yes, ask:
Do I have the emotional + physical capacity for this without borrowing from tomorrow?
If the answer is no → it’s a clean no.
External Boundaries (how they feel gentle)
Use limits on access, not explanations.
Examples:
• Limiting response times
• Limiting availability days
• Limiting emotional depth you go into with others
Boundaries feel harsh only when they’re over-explained.
Simple = kind.
Simple = kind.
2. Language You Can Use to Say No (Without Guilt)
You don’t need reasons. Here are plug-and-play scripts.
Personal:
• “I’m not available for that right now.”
• “I need to keep my energy protected this week.”
• “That doesn’t work for me, but thank you for thinking of me.”
• “I need to keep my energy protected this week.”
• “That doesn’t work for me, but thank you for thinking of me.”
Business:
• “At this time, I’m unable to offer that level of support.”
• “That’s outside the scope of what I can provide.”
• “I don’t have the capacity to take that on right now.”
• “That’s outside the scope of what I can provide.”
• “I don’t have the capacity to take that on right now.”
Emotional boundaries:
• “I care, but I can’t hold this for you.”
• “I trust you’ll find the support you need.”
• “I trust you’ll find the support you need.”
No apologies. No over-explaining.
3. Home Practices That Reinforce Contained Care
Your home already wants to nurture — you just need to direct it.
Physical cues
• One room that is *off-limits* to work and hosting
• Soft lighting in communal spaces, firmer lighting in work areas
• Doors closed intentionally (this matters more than people realize)
• Soft lighting in communal spaces, firmer lighting in work areas
• Doors closed intentionally (this matters more than people realize)
Energetic cues
• End the day by “closing” the house (lights down, devices off)
• Clear transitions between work mode and home mode
• Do not let your home become a drop-in space without notice
• Clear transitions between work mode and home mode
• Do not let your home become a drop-in space without notice
Containment creates safety for everyone.
4. Reframing Care (This Is the Core Shift)
Old model:
Care = availability
Care = availability
New model:
Care = presence **when chosen**
Care = presence **when chosen**
You are not withdrawing love.
You are **protecting its quality**.
You are **protecting its quality**.
Care that is:
• Timed
• Bounded
• Rested
• Timed
• Bounded
• Rested
…is the care people actually feel.
5. One Anchor Sentence (Use This Daily)
“I don’t owe care at the cost of my capacity.”
That’s not selfish.
That’s sustainable.
❤️
We hope this encourages you to take back your power and ride the year of the horse proud into 2026! I should emphasize, once you do start setting boundaries, there usually is a tendency to lose people (or energy vampires as I call them). This may or may not be something you are ready for. In our heart, we will be rooting for you! You are stronger than you think.
All our love,
Luna Rosa Gals
Author: Melanie
❤️